Published March 20, 2012 by Sara

Everytime I hear this song, it always makes me think of Mila. This little precious girl that was touched by cancer and sadly, she did not beat it since the tumor was on her spine and the surgery was too risky considering her age. She passed away shortly after my Mom did back in 2008. But I was so consumed with my own grief. I had not checked up on Mila until a few weeks after her own passing. 

I have heard this a few times since then, but more as of recent. Once when I was at Rue 21 when I took Gwen, Emily and Julia school shopping and then just a few weeks ago while I was at Walgreens picking up my husband’s prescriptions. 

Each time I hear this, it literally knocks the wind out of me and I wonder how her Mom is doing. Before Mila passed away, Andi said this was her song to Mila. Hearing the song, literally breaks my heart.

Andi closed her Myspace account 2 months after Mila’s passing and did not leave a trace for anyone to contact her, being as some people were being jack asses. Criticizing her for blogging while her daughter was dying. And that truly pisses me off right there. Just because someone has some “down” time and they use it to be online, people get all jacked up because she’s not sitting there holding her daughter’s hand 24/7 praying to God to save her Angel. People need a break, people need something to break away from the hum drum of being a care giver and ONLY people who have been through it will understand, shit, I’m STILL a caregiver after 5 years. (First my husband tore is ACL and Menial Meniscus, then my Mom dying of lung cancer, then husband while taking care of my Mom, his eyes had beginning stages of glaucoma, my Mom passed, then my husband had his left leg amputated above the knee.) I just hope at some point we will start to see things turn around.

But after Mila’s passing Andi couldn’t take the critisicm anymore. People had started to jump on her for going on trips and seeing friends. I am sure what set them off was her documentation of those trips. She would take photos of one of Mila’s treasured stuffed animals and it symbolized that Mila was with her. But again, there are people who look at it differently. Everything always comes down to perception. 

I have tried finding Andi on Facebook, but have had no such luck. She may have remarried since too. BUT I did find her brother on You Tube, but that is a slim chance, BUT worth the try right?

But those people that want to be jack asses, at some point, they will get their moment when they realize what it is like and they will remember how they treated Andi and realize, she was only trying to reach out to people, educate them on this rare form of cancer. Being as you can only live and breath your living nightmare for so long, before you find small means of escape.

Some remnants remain of Mila here and there. It’s even a shame there is a website that doesn’t claim it’s not her child and it just disgusts me that people are so starved for attention, they would jump on someone else’s miserable story for their 5 seconds of glory. *smh*

Vertical Horizon-Forever (by metrohybrid)

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